At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
