Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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