the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
