wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
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