I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
