if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
