I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I woke up under a house in Key West
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
