the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
