i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
