Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize