I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
