Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
