i dedicated my morning wood to you.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
