You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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