Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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