All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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