just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Randomize
