what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't put those talents on a resume
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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