Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
