if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
