Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
It's rum buckets o'clock
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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