Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Randomize
