That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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