So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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