he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Randomize
