You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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