I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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