You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Everyone says I win the strip club
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
