Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
