she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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