I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize