Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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