Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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