were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
