I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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