You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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