are you so shy because you have an std?
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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