she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Randomize
