If that was your dad, he is hot
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I'm really busy with my period
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