So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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