Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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