I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
