Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
