You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
