IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
