Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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