That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
