I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
