Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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