The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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