she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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