how can u be prego again
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
