we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
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