i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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