you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Randomize