Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize