i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
did you just send me my own nude
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
