My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
