i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
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