Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
