So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
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