Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
